Matthew McConaughey & Me

I had a dream that I ran into Matthew McConaughey at the mall. He saw me and called out, "Hey Heather! How are you doing, girl?" He gave me a big hug and asked if I was busy. I said I was just window shopping. We went to a nearby cafe and ordered lunch. Matthew was his normal charming self, the guy I remembered from years before when we were dating. I've always been a sucker for his smile.

I told him about Rob, our kids and our granddaughter. He shook his head in amazement and said, "Wow, you really did it. You said you wanted to get married and have a family. You got just what you wanted."
 I laughed and said, "Well, you know how that goes. I got what I thought I wanted and a heck of a lot more. If you would have ever said I would be the mother of three children with special needs and have a granddaughter who also has challenges, I would have thought you were nuts. But then again, look at you Matthew. You started out at the bottom and here you are, a Hollywood  superstar. Congrats on the Academy Award. And you got the same thing, a wonderful spouse and children."
Matthew leaned back in his casual, slouchy way and drawled, "Yeah girl, I I'd say it worked out well for both of us."

As we ate and  reminisced about our dating years, I remembered why it didn't work out between us. Back then, when he was handsome and young, I knew in my heart who he was and I knew I couldn't do it. I needed a partner who could withstand the hard things of life and still be steady and strong. That wasn't Matthew. Just so you don't think I judged him harshly, he knew who he was too. Check out the music video he starred in that explained him perfectly.

Matthew was a Walk-Away-Joe. What I didn't know as a young person was how much my desire for a guy who treated me well and could handle hard stuff would determine my future. It turns out it has been everything.

 When I married Rob, I was completely clueless as to what it took to have a decent marriage. When we had our three children and the diagnosis's of their hearing losses and other health problems came raining down on us, I was clueless as to what it took to be a decent parent to special needs children. A doctor warned us that the statistic for families with one special needs child was an 87% divorce rate. And we had three of them. By all outside measures, we were doomed. We were poor college students, we had no extended family support and we were not famous people. It takes a unique constellation of things going right for a family like ours to stay intact and thrive. Luckily, we found our way and it has worked out well.

I am so glad it has worked out well for Matthew too. Everyone deserves a chance to grow up and mature into a solid adult. I'm happy he did that.

I think Rob looks better with me anyway. We match like bookends and that comes from our years together, working as a team to conquer the world. Don't you agree?