Measuring Success

This thought came to me as I pondered the injustices of parenting. I can't think of a more soul-sucking, exhaustion-filled occupation in the world, than being a parent. Many people enter into the business of parenting with a nervous, I-hope-this-all-works-out-well attitude, acknowledging they have no idea what they are doing. For whatever reason, the universe has seen fit to have us humans enter this world with no built-in blueprint of instinctual rules to follow for our care. Everyone has to figure out parenting for themselves.

Some people are blessed with healthy, happy, easy-going children who never give their parents an ounce of trouble. Others have offspring that are a challenge from day one and that never changes. Still others have to deal with the hurdles of children with disabilities, special needs or illnesses that add an immeasurable amount of pressure, worry and responsibility to the endeavor.

How is it possible to know if you are doing a good job as a parent? It doesn't seem fair to judge a person with an "easy" child a better parent than a person who struggles mightily, doing all they can, sacrificing everything, and their child still chooses a life path of self-destruction and heartache. Judging success solely by children's outcome is a recipe for despair and frustration. Each child has the right and obligation to make their own life choices, regardless of the efforts or neglect of their parents. For good or bad, every human has free will to act for themselves.

The only sane and reasonable measuring stick of parenting has to be an internal examination of our own selves. What have you learned from your parenting experiences? Patience? Empathy? Self-sacrifice? Self-discipline? Hope? Joy? Humor? Love? The list of possible answers is endless, but each should be a hint as to how far you have come since you too, embarked on humanity's unknowable journey of parenthood.