The hardest part of raising kids is also the part that no one told me about. As you remember from reading Ezra and Hadassah, (and if by now, you haven't read E & H, double eye rolls and a big sign from me) I read lots parenting books and I even took formal parenting classes because I didn't want to screw up as a mother.
In my studies I learned all the developmental stages of childhood and the best ways to handle them. I practiced positive, affirming parenting so when my kids had troubles they would know I was safe to go to. I learned lots and lots of good things. The thing Not One class or book even touched on, was the truth of parenting.
The honest-to-goodness truth of parenting is that hands down, without a doubt, the most soul crushing, worrisome and terrifying part of raising kids is getting them educated.
Say what???
Educated?
Why is that the hardest part? Don't you just buy the crayons, glue, and notebook paper and drop your precious offspring off at the school's front door?
No. You do not. First of all, let's be clear. I'm not talking about public school. I am talking about ALL schools. Whether you decide to homeschool, private school, unschool, public school, it doesn't matter. Educating your children is the only part of child rearing that is legally required. You don't have to potty-train your kids. You don't have to teach them morals, or how to work or how to behave in public. But you are required by law to educate your children. In some states I've lived in, parents are thrown in jail if they don't. It is serious business. And it goes on FOREVER.
From whatever age you decide to start teaching junior, until they grow up and move out of your house, you will be dealing with some kind of school. Unlike every other stage of childhood, like the terrible two's and teenage mood swings, education never goes away. They don't grow out of it. In fact, it just gets worse as time goes by. If they are struggling, the stakes get higher and higher. If they have learning, social, emotional or physical disabilities, those make the parenting job even more complicated where education is involved.
Kids with disabilities have access to special help in public schools, if parents know how to access it. Kids with special needs in private or homeschools have to rely on their parents efforts to provide what is needed because there are no laws requiring extra help outside public schools. Even in public schools, it can be a fight. We should know. We've had to hire lawyers and even move across America specifically to get our kids the help they needed. Special needs education is no joke and it is tough.
On top of meeting the individual needs of your special tomato, parents also have to worry about the usual things like sex, drugs and rock-n-roll, all of which can easily derail a child's education faster than you can change them out of their adorable Baby Gap jeans into big kid Levi's.
No lie, no exaggeration - managing to get your child through 12 years of lawfully required education is the most physically and emotionally draining work you will ever do. If you do attend your kids high school graduation, be happy. It is a big deal. Lots of kids don't accomplish that goal.
I won't scare you by telling you what happens after high school. That's a whole 'nuther topic that involves money and dreams and lots of scary decisions that will affect you and your child forever.
Let's just bask in the glow of achieving the minimum of back-breaking parenting work required by law.
PS. If you haven't heard the good news, as of this week 2 of our 3 kids have landed their first post college jobs. WE DID IT! There is an extended parental party happening at our house. Feel free to drop on by and join Rob and me in our happy dance.
