Reviews

A heart-wrenching memoir recounts two siblings’ upbringing by their abusive adoptive parents and Oregon’s foster-care system.

" The children of a paranoid schizophrenic mother and a developmentally challenged father, Hadassah and Ezra split their early years between foster homes and their parents’ unstable household. When their already tenuous living situation was swept up in 1970s-era adoption reform, they were taken from their biological parents and adopted by the Spencer family, who changed their names from Hadassah and Ezra to Heather and Rex. The Spencers were cruel taskmasters, using adoption to gather young laborers for their home, incapable and uninterested in helping with Rex’s developmental disabilities or Heather’s emotional withdrawal after being molested in foster care. This was compounded by the severe beatings and draconian punishments inflicted on the Spencer children, so pitiless that Heather was barely able to protect herself, let alone help her older brother, whose inability to fly under the family’s radar left him locked away in his room, unfed, and living in filth. Heather escaped at 18, finding a measure of stability with an understanding and loving husband. With this support, she reunited with Rex, who rediscovered his faith and professed a personal, literal friendship with Jesus, turning him into an odd but enthusiastic figure of forgiveness in her life. Young’s debut avoids many of the typical pitfalls of an abuse narrative, approaching its often tragic subject matter in a forthright manner, never sensationalizing her own or others’ suffering. Though Mormonism figures prominently here, the Mormon church’s assistance and shortcomings are treated with honesty, and those outside the faith won’t find themselves feeling recruited or ostracized. The book’s heartbreaking power emanates from the author’s candid account of her struggles, from her fear of inheriting her mother’s mental illness or the abusive tendencies of her adoptive parents to dealing with the guilt that comes with sometimes prioritizing one’s own health and survival." 
An unsentimental, affecting look at foster care, abuse, and mental illness.
- Kirkus Reviews - https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/heather-young/ezra-and-hadassah/

 "As Young - who was born as the title character of Hadassah - moves through her life in the Oregon state foster program with her brother Ezra, they encounter all the worst kinds of people. They see many let downs in their lives and they each have to find their own way to survive in their harsh reality - and sometimes that does not always mean that they get through it hand in hand.  Their struggle in this world is at once harrowing and heartwarming and I found it to be well worth my time and investment. 

Since I finished the book, I cannot get the characters and themes out of my head and that is something that I deeply appreciate with a well-written book.  I find myself constantly wishing I had been able to be there for these children throughout their lives, and it’s a definite motivation to do my best to be there for the people that I know and love today.  It was a deeply moving read from start to finish." - more at  http://www.mcwpub.blogspot.com/2014/12/heather-youngs-ezra-and-hadassah.html

"Heather Young’s Ezra and Hadassah: A Portrait of American Royalty is a poignant memoir. This book has been compared to a Latter-day Saint version of Glass Castle. Indeed, the author weaves together a masterful tapestry of experiences that she and her brother undergo in foster care, with their later adoption by a Mormon family, and with their continued struggles as adults." - more at 
http://youngmormonfeminists.org/2014/10/27/book-review-ezra-and-hadassah/#more-8070


"Ezra and Hadassah: A Portrait of American Royalty is an extraordinary, riveting memoir that will take you through the gamut of emotions, from side-splitting hilarity to heart-rending sorrow, full-on rage to soul-searching contemplation. " -more at: http://rationalfaiths.com/book-review-ezra-hadassah-portrait-american-royalty/

"I totally enjoyed this book, even with its hard subject matter. It was written in such a way that it wasn't overly emotional, or graphic, or "woe is me." It was direct and matter of fact and I think that made it easier for me to read. At the same time, it drew me in made me feel invested from the very first page."
-more at:http://sueysbooks.blogspot.com/2014/07/book-review-discussion-ezra-and.html

"While at many times a shocking account of the devastation of human nature, at its core Ezra and Hadassah is a story of triumph against all odds and of how unexpectedly entwined we are with the family into which we’re born. As an adult, Heather finds her biological parents back in her life and it is here, as well as in her relationship with her brother, that Young illustrates how sometimes the most conflicting, challenging relationships in our lives can come with the most heart. Through her deeply moving account of loss, struggle, and the search for love, Young opens herself to her readers with all the faith her brother instilled inside her and all the heartfelt honesty born into her from her parents; Ezra and Hadassah is a memoir about endurance in tragic circumstances and, above all, about the roles other people play in our lives, from the villains to the unexpected and beloved heroes." - more at: http://literaryinklings.com/2014/05/book-review-ezra-and-hadassah-by-heather-young/

 " I read this book in two sittings.  It was very well written and I needed to see how things turned out for Heather and Rex.

Despite horrific trauma no child should have to go through, they are survivors.  They are inspiring.  I highly recommend you give ”Ezra and Hadassah:  A Portrait of American Royalty” a read." - more at: http://lastmom.com/adoption-book-review-ezra-hadassah-portrait-american-royalty/

"This was a sad, true story. Ezra and Hadassah: A Portrait of American Royalty is a book about two children and their journey through the foster system and their experiences as adoptees.  In the beginning, the book reminded me of A Child Called It, but soon, I was engrossed enough in the story that it stood alone for me." - more at:  http://grtlyblesd.blogspot.com/2014/02/ezra-and-hadassah-book-review-giveaway.html


"It’s hard to make me laugh; you gotta be really funny. It’s even harder to make me cry, I ain’t gonna let myself feel that bad unless I have to….but I laughed and I cried while reading Heather’s book. You simply must read it for yourself. Brava." - more at: http://www.mormonmentality.org/2014/02/04/we-were-not-lucky-children.htm

Fan Praise

"Heather -- I am so glad you wrote your story!  You had referred to some things about your childhood when you were here, but it is very powerful to read about the details and the emotions and guilt you felt due to the events and people over which you had no influence or power.  I also loved reading it because you write like yourself and I like you.  I value your candor and enjoy your sense of humor.  Yours is an unbelievable story; it is so incredibly sad and bizarre that people who profess and pretend to be good should be so cold and evil. Yet, I'm sure that having a fractured, uncertain, indifferent, cruel childhood and few good, loving role models is typical for people who grew up as foster children. Your book is and will continue to be important to many people, I believe.  The open way you handled the good and bad events in connection with our church shows that people are responsible for their own faith and behavior, no matter what happens to them or where they worship."

 

"Oh, Heather! I just finished reading your book, and had to write you. It was such a sad, yet wonderful book. I cried through parts of it, and laughed through others. I could "hear" you all through it...it was like having you sitting there telling your story to me. I never imagined the struggles you've had in your life. You have such a pleasant and fun personality, and have always been someone I enjoyed being with. I praise God for how He's worked in your heart to overcome the bad things that happened to you, and that you've been able to write this book that will hopefully be an encouragement and help to others.
I fell in love with Rex. What a sweet, sweet man he was. My heart just ached over what all he'd been through. I wish I could have his forgiving and gentle heart. And Rob! What a patient and loving husband he was, too. Last, but definitely not least, I'm thankful for your love and example of how you have reached out for your parents. You're a good daughter, Heather. What a blessing that you have been able to remember the past, and yet overcome it. Everything about your story just cut me to the heart, and made me proud to call you one of my friends. You and your family will be in my prayers."


Hi Heather,

I just wanted to tell you that the part I cried most at in your book was when Rob said how Rex came into his life as a stranger and ultimately died in his arms as his child.

I cried for so many reasons.  One because he died so "suddenly" and it was so unexpected and a serious departure from the way you wanted/expected it to be.  Two because he really loved Rex enough to hold him in his arms as he died.  So many other reasons.  Because Rex was such a beautiful soul and suffered so much in his life and was begging God to take him and He did.  Also I cried for the guilt you felt as not being able to protect him during his life, etc., etc., etc.  

Rob really did come out smelling like roses.  You're so blessed to have him.  I'm sure you expected him to walk out of your life as most people did and the beautiful thing is that he didn't.  Most marriages these days fall apart for trivial things and he has stuck by you and what a reward he has had on so many levels!

I don't know how you mustered up the strength to write your book.  You are strong.  I don't think I could have done it.

Hi Heather,

I just finished your book this week. It was a really great memoir. You did an excellent job capturing the difficult (to say the least) upbringing you had. I was sorry to read all the struggles you and your brother endured, and it inspires me to be a better parent. I'm happy to say that I'm NOT shades of the Spencers, but there are things I can do better.

I also have had the opportunity to listen to the podcast you did with the Cultural Hall. I was glad to be able to listen to you discuss the book. I admire the strength you have, and I'm glad you have a happy life with your excellent family. I'm sorry for the loss of your brother, it would have been great to know him.



"Started your book at 9 last night just finished. It was painful to read. Not your fault. I think to myself how could I not have known my friend and school mate was going through such things. I knew your home life was bad but sheesh. I hope you are proud of yourself and all you have overcome and accomplished. Now I can't wait for my kids to get home so I can hug and kiss them. And make sure my adopted daughter TRULY understands how loved and wanted she is. Big hugs to you brave lady."

Goodread Reviews

J., " This is a heart-wrenching story of the author's life that is so well written it is hard to put down. She manages to help the reader understand a child's perspective on too many things that are out of her control, including being born into a family of parents with mental illness, being taken from them, foster care, and a terrible abusive adoptive situation. The author carefully writes about the sensitive subjects while telling the story in a straight-forward, honest manner. Ultimately it is uplifting as the children overcome a childhood of the most difficult circumstances imaginable with an adulthood of hope and love and service. She and Rex are my new heroes along with the good people who finally entered their lives, including some good friends and families, a teacher, a Bishop, and her own husband. Definitely one to read!"

Melynda,"This is the *only* memoir I have ever encountered written by a LDS adoptee who is still an active member of the LDS church. I was deeply moved by her recounting of her brother's life, her will to overcome the severe spiritual, emotional, and physical abuse of her adoptive home, and of her ability to make peace with her natural parents. A quick easy read that will leave you with a renewed hope in a woman's will to triumph."

Vicki, "So good. It's a story of a terribly sad childhood but there are some beautiful parts in the last 1/3 or so of the book. I'm so glad I got to read about Rex's life after the author was reunited with him."

Joanne,"I loved reading the story of Ezra/Rex and Hadassah/Heather,siblings taken from their parents and adopted into a brutal,unloving home.It is heartbreaking to see how the children in this family were emotionally and physically abused.I especially loved reading about Rex as an adult.It is amazing to see that he grew into such a caring,compassionate,wonderful human being who always looked for how he could help others.It is remarkable how he completely left his past behind him and refused to ever dwell on it.I was moved by his close relationship with his Best Friend Jesus.This is quite an inspiring story and I thank Heather Young for sharing it with us."

Lisa, "I want to thank Heather Young and Goodreads First Reads Giveaway for the copy of Ezra and Hadassah: A Portrait of American Royalty.

This was a challenging book to read but in the end was hopeful. It looks deeply at our nations complex and flawed Foster care and Adoption policies and our historical response to those with disabilities. It also is the story of how a sister and a brother respond to the horrible situations they face and become strong and positive adults."

F., "This is a keeper! It is a great read and one that I found easy to read. It was a true story and that made it all the more real for me. I related to the book in different ways, so it hit home with my heart. It is very well-written all around."

Melissa, "I won a free copy of this book from a goodreads giveaway. It is quite good. This isn't a tear-jerker feel-sorry-for-me book. It feels much more like listening to a friend of yours talk about her very messed up childhood and trying to find her way in the world. It's fairly chronological, though at times the author will flash back to give us information that is only relevant to the current part of the story."

Janice, "This book was a real page-turner. It's unbelievable how some children have to endure such harsh upbringings and somehow survive into adulthood, some doing well as grown-ups, some not... This author has done an excellent job writing her memoir."

Jennifer, "Shattering. It's a hard story, but ultimately hopeful and beautiful."

Sarah, "You know a book is good when you want to throw the author a parade!!1 Not since The Help has a book struck me with such force. A true story of a brother and sister's journey through the hell of foster care and then a heartbreaking adoptive home. Heather's honest candor about how she coped with the vivid mind games is admirable and amazingly well described. She makes you feel like you were right there living the nightmare with her. . I found myself earnestly rooting for this underdog from the very beginning. And this book does not disappoint in that regard. What one woman and her brother chose to do despite unspeakable odds and obvious baggage will win you over. What a brilliant triumph of making lemonade from some very stinky, rotten, unfair, unjust, and downright mean lemons. I want to be Heather when I grow up one day...end of story."

Amazon Reviews:

Helene, "I very rarely write reviews, but was compelled to in this case. I heard about this book from a friend (who I believe knows the author) and it piqued my interest, but I had no idea what a heart-wrenching yet triumphant story I was starting. The story of Heather and Rex's childhood is told in what I can describe as an insightful, yet matter-of-fact, narrative that provides an understanding both of what Heather felt/thought as a child and her perception of events as an adult looking back. This is a story of children caught up in an abusive, adoptive household and their (real) parents who are caught up in the system. Yes, it is horrific on some level because no one should endure what these children (and others) did, nor should their (real) parents have been shunted to the side by the system. But it also gives me hope - both children broke the cycle of abuse that was foisted on them by their adoptive parents, though they obviously had lasting emotional scars. In addition to being a story about this somewhat heroic brother and sister, the book paints an interesting picture of dynamics within an abusive family and the pitfalls of society and government agencies of the 70s and 80s in dealing with child abuse. It is a well-written, thought-provoking read and I applaud the author for bearing her soul the way she does."  

Scout,"Ezra and Hadassah is a wonderful telling of a very difficult story. The sincerity and honesty with which this book was written makes you feel as though it is being told over coffee with a close friend."

Thomas,"This will be the most painful, most joyful, most extraordinary book you will read this year. It is honest, it is true, and it is unbelievable that anyone could survive what Ezra and Hadessah went through."

 Arlene, "I read this book in one day because I couldn't put it down. The memoir is unique because these children were born to a mother with a serious mental illness and a handicapped father with a low IQ. They went through hell but inevitably chose love and service to others over bitterness and surrender. The beauty of their lives is in their triumph. How they did it---what they experienced at the hands of supposedly well meaning adults is one of the most compelling stories I've ever read. Heather writes with wit and courage and total honesty about her struggle to survive her childhood and leads the reader to hope. Ezra's story will break your heart, but his never failing attempts to be a better person and serve others leaves one feeling respect and even exultation. Many lessons to be learned from this book but the story will draw you in and mesmerize you till the end. Bravo!"

R.L., "Where do I begin? I was moved to tears as I read the life story of Ezra/Rex. What a loving soul! I rate this book right up there with Jeanette Wells' book, "The Glass Castle". BRAVO for surviving so beautifully the atrocities you experienced and for conveying them in a well-written book! Well worth the $6.99 Kindle price!"

Michelle, "Your heart will break; your hope in humanity will be restored. So many themes will grip your heart - parental rights, child advocacy, the rights of the mentally ill, bullying, foster care, the value and worth of society's "freaks," and the will to survive against all odds. Hadassah (Heather)'s brave and honest truth-telling grips you with love for these precious cast-offs, torn from their parents without being asked. You will long to be like Ezra (Rex) who despite chronic oppressive abuse at the hands of falsely "good people" is powerfully gifted with forgiveness and passion to serve others. A must-read!"

Jill, "It was hard put the book down. I went through the full range of emotions. My heart was breaking for the trials and hardships placed upon these 2 young people. The writers style was engaging and kept me captive. How anyone could live this life is incredible. I appreciated the life insights given by Rex. Don't dwell on the negative, there is always something good to be found."

Melanie, "Ezra and Hadassah is the amazing story of a brother and sister taken from their parents and put into an abusive foster home, then moved to an adoptive family where they experienced an even worse situation. Ezra and Hadassah, later known as Rex and Heather, went on to not only survive, but to thrive, despite the odds stacked against them. The author's writing style presents the unvarnished truth without sentimentality. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll cheer for the people they became."

ccanderson, "I loved this book and could not put it down. It is a painful yet redeeming tale from a survivor of childhood abuse. This book touched me on many levels; as a social worker, it is an important commentary on a system that harmed a family more than it helped, as a community member, it is an important reminder look to reach out to children who can not advocate for themselves, as human being, I am inspired by the challenges Heather Young conquered and continues to meet. As a spiritual person, I am humbled by the example of Rex and his "best friend.""

W. Anderson, "Tug at your heart and make you really wonder about people! Two little kids trapped by adult decisions they had no control over."

Judie, "Think Cinderella with the evil stepmother and stepsisters replaced by sadistic foster parents, one set of whom adopted her and her brother. Add a society, including the children’s services department and educators, neighbors, and a religious community that were blind to what was happening or incompetent in dealing with it. The result is Heather Young’s story of her life, told in EZRA AND HADASSAH.
Hadassah and her brother, Ezra, were taken from their biological parents who both suffered with mental illnesses. Their first foster parents had a career of raising foster children, primarily, it seems, for the income.

After a year and a half there, they were moved to another home where they were adopted a year and a half later. Their names were changed to Heather and Rex. These parents had previously adopted two other children. The mother didn’t know the difference between taking care of a child and having a child take care of her every whim. Besides being required to clean up their own rooms, the children had to do all the laundry, clean the house, and pay for their own toilet paper. Punishment for any infraction, including not looking in the mother’s eye when she was lecturing you, was excessively severe. Hadassah was able to survive there because of some inner strength. She learned what she had to do so she wouldn’t be abandoned even though she wasn’t getting the support she and all children really require. Ezra, who had untreated problems of his own, didn’t fare well at all.
As an adult, Rex turned to religion to help him cope and used forgiveness to get beyond his past and live in the present. He urged Heather to do the same.
Later on, she is able to learn about the circumstances leading to her being removed from her biological parents and the way the family court system worked at that time.
Considering her childhood, it is amazing that Heather Young is as positive as she seems to be at this point, married with three children who have special needs. But her attitude comes through from the beginning of the book. I have won several books to review. Some are personally signed. This one reads, “You are a winner!” The bottom of the information page states: “To protect their privacy, names of several individuals have been changed. Most are innocent victims, but a few are guilty as sin. Since I have no intention of being sued, it will be obvious as you read who is a good guy and who isn’t.”
EZRA and HADASSAH was well-written and kept my interest. It covered the experiences from several angles including how they were and what life experiences may have contributed to them. It is a story of resilience and an awful reality. It has a few grammatical errors as well as some chronological ones. However, they don’t distract from the story."

David, "Thank you Heather for having the courage to share these difficult and tender experiences from your life. I was deeply touched and humbled. Those that read this book will laugh and cry and will ultimately walk away as a better person."

Rachel, "I read this book in two days! I couldn't get enough. I am grateful that she wrote and shared her story. I know it will help others who desperately need to know they are not alone in the childhoods they survived. I am so fortunate that I was able to talk to the author after reading the book and it felt wonderful to hug her and thank her for sharing her story. A heartbreaking yet inspiring book of moving forward after years of trauma and abuse. There is HOPE, there is LOVE and there is GOOD in this world even after you have been through hell."

Helen, "This is a real person who lives in my daughter's real neighborhood. Her experiences were/are real and current. This is a heart wrenching and powerful memoir of someone who continues to overcome unique life circumstances with love and patience. Oh my, but the stories some children have to tell..."

Traci, "I was sad when book was over. I was not ready to be done. It is interesting for me because I know the author and have met her birth parents. I basically had the ending already but this book took me to the beginning. What an interesting full circle story. The author couldn't be taken care of by her birth family due to mental illness and low IQ but now takes care of THEM because they can't care for themselves for the same reasons. And Rex, don't you just have to love his childlike innocence and ways. I find it interesting that it was his challenges with how his brain worked that made him who he was. As if not enough already, it's that same brain that caused him the most difficulty also and eventually robbed him of his simple life. Great read!!!!!!"

Derf, "I do not typically enjoy reading books about such hardships, especially for young children. This book was written so tactfully, addressing sad points and then moving on to brighter moments. Every parent should read this - it will inspire you to love your children (and every child you meet) more compassionately. I only wish the book were longer!"

Angela, "It's hard to believe something like this would happen in our country especially when done for "the children'a best interest". This book not only tells of an incredible story but is really well written. I couldn't put it down!"

David, "This book was very eye opening for me. I grew up knowing these children. Knowing that they were different yet NOT knowing why or just how sad their home life was. I guess I was clueless in my own little world. It makes me wonder how many other families there might be out there with similar issues. I am an adoptive parent and it makes me aware of how certain situations could affect my beloved adopted child. I can not imagine the pain Ezra and Hadassah went through. BUT I would love to prevent any other child from experiencing the type of treatment they did. It makes me more aware of children around me. I enjoyed it so much I couldn't put it down."

Anonymous, "This is an amazing book! I cried through it, and laughed through it. It opened up an awareness in me for people who are "not like me" and for those who have serious struggles I'm totally unaware of, but at the same time, showed me hearts of forgiveness and peace. It made me want to be less judgmental, more forgiving, more helpful. This book is well written and really touched my heart. I couldn't put it down."

Ben, "This book was so captivating. It made me feel angry,sad,and hopeful. I recommend you reading this when you have alone time. You won't want to put it down. It makes you think even though this world is full of crappy people , there is still hope you can change your life for the better."

Teresa, "I openedly laughed and cried while reading Ezra and Hadassah A Portrait of American Royalty. If you read a Child Called "It", you will not want to let this book pass you by! Some parts are tough to get through but it sets you up to become a better person to all people."

Colleen, "This was a good read even though it was so sad. The author told her story without being repugnant. Her history in her own words written with honesty,empathy,and sometimes self depricating. I'm glad I read it cleared up some questions I had about her parents, which I knew a few years ago. I'm glad they found each other again."

J. Sauls, "When you think of childhood in America the picture of bicycles and friends, clean clothes and healthy food, and a safe home with loving parents in what comes to mind. Sadly this is not the situation for far too many children, and even more tragic, the reality is far worse than benign neglect and genteel poverty.

Such is the story of Ezra and Hadassah, a brother and sister born to a mentally ill mother and a father with lower than average intelligence. The state of Oregon sought to terminate the parental rights and ultimately succeeded, allowing Ezra (his name changed to Rex) and Hadassah (renamed Heather) to be adopted into a far worse situation than they ever faced with their birth parents.

Their story will absolutely gut you and tear you to pieces. In the end you are given hope that it is entirely possible to rise above the worst of the world and that life can be full of love and happiness."

Amy, "This story must be told. It is deeply moving. I could not put this book down. The author has an amazing ability to draw you in to the many twists and turns of their story of the many ways the system failed these children. The author and her brother are truly an inspiration to us all."

Bookie, "Despite impaired vision I felt compelled to read this book from beginning to end in only 2 sittings. This book reads like a favorite thriller. It should be on everyone's shelf."