My mother Claudia, told me she wrote her mother, Lennis, an eight page, single-spaced letter. I was happy because if Lennis doesn't get a letter from Claudia for a while, she calls me to find out if Claudia or Ralph have died. It is perfectly logical when you are in your 90's, to assume your 69 year-old daughter is dead if you haven't heard from her, right?
I asked Claudia what she wrote about that took eight pages, single-spaced. She told me she wrote about the 50th wedding anniversary party that she recently attended telepathically on her home planet, La Mordia. It was a party worthy of royalty, which of course, we are on La Mordia. That is why it took 8 pages, single-spaced to describe the activities and gifts that were given to celebrate our relatives 50th wedding anniversary.
Since Lennis isn't Claudia's real mother, who lives on La Mordia, but merely her earthly foster-type mother, a place holder until we all return to our royal places at our true home, she ought to really enjoy getting that letter.
When Claudia was diagnosed with schizophrenia as a teenager and then legally changed her name from Janet to Claudia, my grandma Lennis began to fight an uphill battle. She has tried for over 60 years to get Claudia to answer to her birth name, Janet. She refuses to accept that her daughter Janet will not be coming back to her. My conversations with Lennis over the years have been heartbreaking at times, listening to her struggle with a reality she doesn't want. Mental illness doesn't just affect the person afflicted with it, it also changes the lives of everyone else around the person.
Most of the time, it is hysterically funny in a dark, pitch-black humor sort of way. Like this 50th wedding anniversary party. Ralph and Claudia will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this coming July. For an average couple, the 50th is a big deal. For my unusual parents, this is an over-the-top event that Claudia is dreaming big about.
The first time Claudia told me about her telepathic visit to La Mordia for the anniversary party, she rambled off a list of wedding gifts that would put an episode of the game show "The Price is Right" to shame. Appliances! Trips! Fancy clothes! Cars! and best of all, delivered in a reverential hush, was the last and biggest gift of all: matching Hovercrafts. I asked, "Hovercrafts? Are those even for real? I don't know that those even exist."
Claudia sighed and said, "Yes, on La Mordia everyone has them. They drive them on the road, fly them in the air, and ride them like a boat on water."
"Huh.Who would have guessed. Of course, we all know La Mordia is a much more advanced planet than earth," I replied, wondering what kind of wedding anniversary party Claudia is expecting I am going to pay for. I was thinking more along the lines of crepe paper streamers in their nursing home dining hall and a cake, not matching Hovercrafts.
After a long discussion about the earthly impracticality of imaginary matching, fully-functioning Hovercrafts, including the fact Ralph and Claudia no longer drive and that the nursing home has no covered parking for Hovercrafts, Claudia was content with letting that idea go.
We only have 4 months left before their 50th anniversary. Heaven help me.
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